Gardening the Garden

Question:

Hi Nancy, Hope things pick up for you soon… In the meantime, RANT awayyyyyyyy. Can’t beat a good rant. smiles, Pete

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I had such a great day yesterday.  Gardening and cleaning and making dinner. I felt great all day. Today I am nervous and anxious and noises are driving me crazy.  My husband is home and he’s dragging me all over hells acres.  Usually it’s me dragging him but I just don’t feel up to standing around. My boss phoned luckily when I was out.  I am not ready to speak to that man but I know I have to.  I thank him for this new bought of the worst anxiety attacks I have ever experienced in my life!! I just feel so down and I want to cry.  My husband doesn’t understand. He’s trying so hard to be nice but as far as he’s concerned I have nothing to worry about and he doesn’t understand why I feel the way I do.  He keeps saying to get off the pills.  But he doesn’t realize how much worse I am when I am off them. I always try to be strong in front of him and the kids because they don’t know what’s going on inside my head and none of them would understand.  I don’t want to scare the kids so I keep up a smiling face and pretend that I am fine even though on the inside I want to explode! Sory for the ranting I just needed to get a few things off my chest. Nancy — Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Response:

– Hi Jackie, Thanks for the pep talk.  Yes I do find that it catches up with me.  I can only smile for so long.  Sometimes I am glad that my husband works nights and the kids are in bed, then I can just sit and cry and not have to worry that I’m upsetting anyone.  The only problem with that is I also get my worst panic attacks when I am alone!  Geez I can’t win for nothing!! Our garden is very small, some people would probably say that it’s not worth having a garden but we like it.  It’s something that my husband and I do together.  We put in a small pond last year (our friends joke about it being a puddle) but we enjoy sitting and watching it.  It’s nice to have a shared interest with a spouse and I guess this is ours. I have some pictures that I will post.  We ended up at the nursery again this afternoon.  It’s too early to plant here in Canada but the weather the last few days has been wonderful so you just can’t help to want to add some color. I’m feeling a bit better this afternoon.  At least I feel that I am improving overall.  I can’t stand the thought of having to go back to work. That is one place that I just can’t handle right now.  I am supposed to go back next week but I don’t know if I can do it.  I think it will just put me right back to where I was a month ago. Anyway, suppers ready. Nancy T Dear Nancy, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Don`t be sorry for venting here, that`s the purpose of this newsgroup. It sounds like you are living with alot of tension, work stress, difficult boss, a husband who tries to understand but doesn`t, kids, etc. I do the same thing as you, I hold everything in, I let no one know that I am anxious or uptight, put on the happy face all the time, but…….it always catches up with me sooner or later. Do you find that also? You had a good day yesterday, so you know that you can have "good" days, sometimes we have to have a bad day now and then to appreciate the good ones {{{{{Nancy}}}}} P.S. What kind of gardening are you into? I enjoy working in my flower gardens, I find the work is very relaxing and I look foward to seeing the fruits of my labor!! Take care and I hope you can find some peace today. Jackie ~~The true story….is the realization that no time in your life is ever perfect, that even the best memories have cracks you might not see.~~

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I had such a great day yesterday.  Gardening and cleaning and making dinner. I felt great all day. Today I am nervous and anxious and noises are driving me crazy.  My husband is home and he’s dragging me all over hells acres.  Usually it’s me dragging him but I just don’t feel up to standing around. My boss phoned luckily when I was out.  I am not ready to speak to that man but I know I have to.  I thank him for this new bought of the worst anxiety attacks I have ever experienced in my life!! I just feel so down and I want to cry.  My husband doesn’t understand.  He’s trying so hard to be nice but as far as he’s concerned I have nothing to worry about and he doesn’t understand why I feel the way I do.  He keeps saying to get off the pills.  But he doesn’t realize how much worse I am when I am off them. I always try to be strong in front of him and the kids because they don’t know what’s going on inside my head and none of them would understand.  I don’t want to scare the kids so I keep up a smiling face and pretend that I am fine even though on the inside I want to explode! Sory for the ranting I just needed to get a few things off my chest.

Dear Nancy, Don`t be sorry for venting here, that`s the purpose of this newsgroup. It sounds like you are living with alot of tension, work stress, difficult boss, a husband who tries to understand but doesn`t, kids, etc. I do the same thing as you, I hold everything in, I let no one know that I am anxious or uptight, put on the happy face all the time, but…….it always catches up with me sooner or later. Do you find that also? You had a good day yesterday, so you know that you can have "good" days, sometimes we have to have a bad day now and then to appreciate the good ones {{{{{Nancy}}}}} P.S. What kind of gardening are you into? I enjoy working in my flower gardens, I find the work is very relaxing and I look foward to seeing the fruits of my labor!! Take care and I hope you can find some peace today. Jackie ~~The true story….is the realization that no time in your life is ever perfect, that even the best memories have cracks you might not see.~~

Response:

I had such a great day yesterday.  Gardening and cleaning and making dinner. I felt great all day. Today I am nervous and anxious and noises are driving me crazy.  My husband is home and he’s dragging me all over hells acres.  Usually it’s me dragging him but I just don’t feel up to standing around. My boss phoned luckily when I was out.  I am not ready to speak to that man but I know I have to.  I thank him for this new bought of the worst anxiety attacks I have ever experienced in my life!! I just feel so down and I want to cry.  My husband doesn’t understand.  He’s trying so hard to be nice but as far as he’s concerned I have nothing to worry about and he doesn’t understand why I feel the way I do.  He keeps saying to get off the pills.  But he doesn’t realize how much worse I am when I am off them. I always try to be strong in front of him and the kids because they don’t know what’s going on inside my head and none of them would understand.  I don’t want to scare the kids so I keep up a smiling face and pretend that I am fine even though on the inside I want to explode! Sory for the ranting I just needed to get a few things off my chest. Nancy — Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Response: